Confidence Restored

I did not blog about my first attempt at suturing because it was such a humbling experience. It was a first hand education in "things are harder then they look" and I failed. I was not upset that I could not do it, there were many contributing factors like; only having one hemostat, having to use my fingers to grasp the needle, the apex of the tear was very deep, the mother was in pain and many other things. There was a lot going against a first time student that has only practised on pig's feet. I feel it is totally understandable that I did not complete the suturing. What upset me the most is that I gave up, kind of. I got scared and asked the experienced midwife to take over. I usually push though and complete what I start, I try to overcome my fears. For that split moment in time I lost confidence in myself and that is what worries me. I still do not understand why. Normally I can take a deep breath, but I did not even think to do that. I walked away a little surprised by myself and actions, thinking this is totally not like me. At the same time I knew everything was justified and I could not let it bring down my confidence or prevent me from trying again. On Monday, three days later I attempted again with great success and that is the time I wanted to blog about, but know you know the rest of the story!